HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003)

 HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003) – 10/02/2021

 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251736/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

 

               I saw House Of 1000 Corpses during its original release.  I can’t say I was ever a big Rob Zombie fan, but his aesthetic always appealed to me.  So, of course, I thought I should give his feature film directorial debut a look.  At the time, I remember thinking House Of 1000 Corpses was a more faithful update of Texas Chainsaw Massacre than any of the actually Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes.  Upon rewatching for this review, though, it looks more like a 89-minute long Rob Zombie music video but without the music.

 

               The plot of House Of 1000 Corpses follows almost note-for-note Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  A group of friends get lost in rural Texas, they find themselves at a large house with a family of strange people, and they are subsequently hunted in dramatically gory fashion.  Rob Zombie brings in young actors Rainn Wilson (Bill) and Chris Hardwick (Jerry) in what I assume are one of those “pay your dues in a cheap horror movie” roles early in their careers.  First, they meet Captain Spaulding, played by the legendary Sid Haig, who introduces them to some local legends and directs them towards the Deadwood Tree.  On their way, they pick up Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon), who lures the friends to her family house.  Sheri Moon may be pretty enough and just the right amount of crazy, but she really has no acting talent at all which is clearly obvious by her stinted delivery and timing.  The bright spot of the Firefly family is Mama (veteran actress Karen Black) who is delightfully mysterious and copiously forward with her guests—especially the Sheriff later on.  The patriarch of the family seems to be Otis (Bill Moseley), a gun-toting redneck who openly challenges authority and seems to progress from a poor-man’s Riff Raff to a Kid Rock impersonator to finally settling on dressing like the lead singer for Ghost.  Our four heroes quickly find what really goes on behind closed doors and are separated and killed one at a time by the Firefly family and some of the rural legends they came looking for.  House Of 1000 Corpses takes place the day before Hallowe’en in 1977 (a year short of a very good day), and it looks like Rob Zombie spent all of his production money on cheap Hallowe’en decorations for his sets.  He certainly didn’t save any money to spend on the random cuts of snuff film tossed about like glitter at a strip club. 

 

               Admittedly, Rob Zombie is not one of my favorite movie directors.  His Halloween was pretty good but obviously not as good as the original, as much as he tried to stay faithful to the original story.  I am looking forward to The Munsters, albeit not because Rob Zombie is directing.  Perhaps Mr. Zombie should’ve stuck to torturing us with his music.

 

Scores:

Suspense:  2/10 – everything is pretty much in your face; there really isn’t much mystery.

Gore:  10/10 – everything is bloody and ripped apart.

Scares:  8/10 – I wasn’t particularly scared of this movie, but I could see how it would make some uneasy.

Humor:  10/10 – Sid Haig was a fucking treasure.

Bonus Points: 3 – Sid Haig, Karen Black, and a surprise appearance from Michael J. Pollard!

 

Total:  33/40 – Goddamn, motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit!